Working with victims of domestic violence

The term domestic violence includes not only physical violence, but also psychological abuse, such as oppression, control, belittling, threats, and isolation from friends and relatives. All this lowers the self-esteem of the victim and can make him or her believe that he or she is to blame for the violence. Low self-esteem consumes all of the victim’s mental energy, making it difficult for him or her to seek help or take other action.

Who can become a victim of domestic violence?

Anyone can become a victim of domestic abuse, and there are victims from all strata of society. Whether one can become a victim or not does not depend on one’s educational background or economic and social position.

How does domestic violence begin and how does it develop?

Often domestic violence begins with small wishes and requests that eventually limit the freedom of the victim. Later the demands turn into psychological violence, after which increasing levels of physical violence is used to control the victim.

Why is it hard for the victim to abandon a violent relationship?

Violence is not always present, and it develops in stages. First there is increasing tension, then there is violence, and finally the culprit is repentant and apologizes, and the same course of events is repeated in cycles. In times of peace, the victim may believe that the culprit is changing. The victim may also fear that there will be more violence if he or she tries to leave, and that the children will be taken over by the violent parent in case of divorce. In addition, the victim may be financially dependent on the culprit. To abandon a violent relationship is a difficult and slow process, particularly if the victim’s self-esteem and ability to make decisions has been destroyed by the violence.

When does the victim abandon the violent person?

A certain even or matter can form a turning-point for the victim. The turning-point can be an unusually severe act of violence or sudden concern for the safety of the children. The victim realizes that something has to be done. For those investigating the matter it is important to understand that abandoning the violent person can make the victim feel loss and sorrow even though there has been violence in the relation.

After leaving the violent person

Even after the immediate danger is over, the presence of the culprit may cause the victim uneasiness. This usually happens when the victim has to face the culprit while discussing how to share the couple’s property and who will take care of the children.

Auli Ojuri, researcher and developer, D.Soc.Sc., The Federation of Mother and Child Homes and Shelters

Sari Laaksonen, Development Manager, The Federation of Mother and Child Homes and Shelters

References

– The “Ota väkivalta puheeksi” (“Start talking about violence”) Memorandum (Publications of the Finnish Ministry of Social Affairs and Health 2008:9)

– ”Onko joku tuntemasi nainen parisuhdeväkivallan kohteena?” (“Has a woman you know been subjected to violence in her relationship?”), guide published by the Women’s Line in Finland

Senja-project 2009-2011, Rape Crises Center Tukinainen, Association Tukinainen, funded by Finland’s Slot Machine Association